You might have noticed I haven’t posted in a while. You might have wondered why. Or maybe not. Whatever.
The truth is that things have been a bit hectic, both at home and at work and quite simply I haven’t had the energy. The new year started with a bang work wise and the volume of it all has just had me on the back foot. At home my eldest son managed to RE-break his arm (don’t even ask, I was flabbergasted!) and we’ve been in and out of hospital with him over the last couple of months as a result.
Couple that with the usual kids, work, family, freelance work, life stuff and so on, and it means I’ve had no time for my own blog.
And I don’t give a rat’s ass.
It’s not that I don’t want to write stuff, it’s just that I don’t really mind that it hasn’t been a priority.
I read a particularly good post today over on The Blessed Barrenness, on the fact that her blogging and subject matter has changed over the years. It’s something I identified with immediately. I’ve been known over the years as a game reviewer, blogger, writer and so forth. Gaming is and always will be a huge part of my day to day life, but honestly? I’m a bit tired of the bullshit that goes along with having to post continuously in order to maintain a profile to that effect. It’s exhausting and quite honestly I just don’t give enough of a fuck.
Let me make one thing clear.
I play video games because I love them. I have always loved them.
Since The Verge ended 5 years ago, I still get regular messages from people asking me what I thought of a specific game and whether I think it’s worth their money. The reality now of course is that I’m not playing all these games. Sure, there are still some distributors who seed me copies of games with no expectation of what I’ll provide in return because they know I still get these kinds of questions and they value my contribution, but they’re under no obligation to. Times are tight and I no longer have a TV platform that caters to this so it becomes more difficult to justify for their publishers. Yes of course I do still write for other publications other than my own blog, so some of the content goes there, but certainly not all of it. Perhaps if I actually started a YouTube channel at some point things would change, but I’m still uncertain if this is a route I want to take. Do I actually want to commit to the effort it takes to grow and sustain a YouTube channel? My son is also increasingly putting pressure on me to start one for him as well and honestly I just don’t know if I have the energy to maintain more than one!
The other thing is that I don’t want to be the gaming girl for the rest of my life. It took me a while to come to this realisation, but people are always vaguely surprised when I tell them I don’t just play games and I actually have a day job! I’m turning 36 in May and I have absolutely no problem with this. I don’t think I’m old by any stretch of the imagination, but my focus has shifted and while some of the people I speak to “used to watch my show when they were in high school” (LOL!) it’s not like that’s the only market I speak to, or am even interested in.
Ok, this post didn’t really have a point I suppose, more just a rambling about my current blog struggles based on my state of mind at this moment in time.
I should of course probably ask whether or not you think I should start creating more video content? I have had people ask me this before but would you be interested in watching this content? What kind of content do you think I should be making? Yes gaming stuff, of course, but that’s not all I want to talk about – would you be interested in seeing other topics from me? Let me know in the comments.